Elle MacPherson Is Just Like All The Rest Of The Stay At Home Moms
Every morning, I shuffle off to drive my eldest to school in my uniform of fake Ugg boots from Target, sweatpants, no bra, and whatever jacket might be laying about. A dazzling scrunchy in my greasy hair completes the morning ensemble.
100% of the time, it is a race against the tardy clock, and my daughter’s fate is determined by the fickleness of the traffic light up the street. There are a handful of moms who always are dressed in their business casual, complete with makeup and fully styled hair. You know who you are, and I hate you.
Promises are made and good intentions are abundant, but truth be told, I usually pick my daughter up from school in the same attire I dropped her off in. Trying to juggle three separate writing gigs has rendered me unable to take care of myself. I have been feeling pretty bad about my predicament, but then I run across this photo of Elle “the bod” Macpherson picking up her tot from school. A rush of relief pours over me. At least she does not hang out in my school’s drop off/pick up lane. What the hell would you do if you saw that on a daily basis?
I believe the only logical explanation for Elle’s appearance is that she is a succubus. Who the hell picks up their kids dressed like that? I can just see her walking in slow motion and tossing her golden mane about, while the dads take up a sudden interest in picking up their progeny from school. Note the man in the background who has to support himself with the fence because his knees became wobbly.
Here’s another photo of Elle on the school grounds, sure to make you barf up your cheerios.
I love how she is accessorized from head to toe. Impractical gladiator sandals and layered neck baubles, cute dress. Little Filipe (I don’t know if that is his name, but he looks like he should Filipe) is strapped into his bicycle seat with his little hat slightly askew, just to add a touch of devil-may-care attitude. *sigh* I’m too chicken to even ride a bike on the streets around my house. Then again, traffic probably comes to a standstill while Elle deftly maneuvers her way home, unscathed by the practicalities of real life.