Wedding Bell Wake-Up
Anyone who truly gets me is well informed that Hallowe’en is my favourite holiday and October is my favourite month. I seriously live for the creepy-creeperson of it all and could spend soulless hours planning and creating disturbingly gory costumes, treating, and tricks du jour.
One of my best pals from University in Ohio is getting hitched on the 31st of this month and has asked me to be in her weddin’. For those who are supportively cringing at my potential misfortune, fear not, fair Nells! Pal Karen P. is and will always remain on the tippy-top of my ‘Funky Chicks I Adore’ list. Consequentially, anything this Girl would and has conjured up and employed I have never questioned. Therefore, when I received a request call from KP to wear the bridesmaid’s dress, mosey down an aisle in Chicago, and rep-pre-sent, I was more than down. I was also wondering what the hitch was; this being an affair on the most blessed spookay-dom day of our calendar year.
Years of University buddy-ship (and beyond) assured yours truly that KP is far too funky to pull out any sort of Ghoulish-themed wedding, so when she mentioned the quant little church in Lincoln Park, Illinois, I waited for the grand finale. There had to be something…with the two of us there is ALWAYS something. Even when there isn’t something, there’s at least a zany pretend something. Here’s the something: The reception is taking place at the Museum of Surgical Sciences. Brilliant. My Pal is bar none. I mean, there are veeery few people I will ditch out on Hallowe’en costumes for and Karen is absolutely one of them, but to select a place, which looks like a clean version of the Addam’s Familys house in which to hold your wedding reception?! Like I said, this chick is at the height of cool.
I have no doubt that this will be one of the most magnacornacopious (made that one up, yes) weddings I will ever attend and even if I wasn’t invited, I’d find a way to slither myself onto that guest list.
Having written that, lemme gift you a little background on the makings up of my relationship with Karen, all bullet like:
- When I met Karen, during Freshman year, she was on roller skates. Shortly after that, I was on roller skates.
- While all the other Freshman girls were are workin’ their goods for beer, Karen & I become the darling pets of the Lambda Chi Alphas due to our cuteness and feigned innocence. Being short and adorable, KP charmed the entire group out of Killian Reds six packs and into always protecting us chicks. I merely stumbled along in awe of her skillz.
- Upon the seeming ridiculous verdict of the OJ Simpson trial, KP & I, along with our pal Jamie, set up a mock orange juice stand. We gave away the juice and shouted to anyone living on the West Quad, ‘OJ! Free of charge!’
- Karen’s Mum was/is terrified of the Pillsbury Dough Boy. Once, while mine & KP’s parents were visiting Ohio, we all ventured out to dinner, where I brought along a small version of Dough-y (upon KP’s suggestion, of course). Dough-y travelled underneath the table, through all the diners’ hands, to end up on Mrs. P’s plate and greeted with a fabulous gasp of ‘EEEEEEK!’
- After graduation, Karen rang me up to give me the low-down on her life involving attending a new college in Chicago which she was registered at, but couldn’t remember the name of. We immediately decided that ‘Random University’ was the place for her and began selecting ho-hum school colours, deciding on Mauve and Taupe.
- Karen eventually became an English teacher and was sentenced to the South side of Chicagoland. She rang me on her first day to tell me all about the punctuation poster in her classroom, which had a bullet hole through the period mark.
Like all weddings I attend, this one is already off to a glorious beginning. And, like all weddings should be which I attend, the Pillsbury Dough Boy will be accompanying me.