Be The CEO Of Your Life And Master The Smoky Eye: Only In Tyraworld
Dear Ms. Banks. Get Over Yourself!
I quit watching America’s Next Top Model several cycles ago, when my living room was no longer able to contain the behemoth beast that is Tyra Banks’ ego. While I have been busy raising children, tending a household and writing my ass off (insert shameless plug of my new writing gig at The Flickcast here), somehow I missed the launch of Tyra Banks’ “magoline” (look at Tyra, coining a phrase). The magoline purports to be written for you, and me. Ms. Banks professes that she wants to redefine the definition of beauty online. Sounds great, right? I decided to check out the inaugural September online issue.
Curiously, I could not find one single thing for me, or you. In fact, every single single article seems to be specifically about Ms. Banks. For example, let’s peruse the titles of the issue together. We’ve got “Kiss My Fit (And Still Fat Ass)”; “My Real Hair. Finally“; “Yo Shortie, Models 5’7 And Under”; and “It’s Your Turn To Be Fierce”.
Now, I could be mistaken, but the first appears to be about Tyra’s ass, the second about her hair (I love how she italicizes finally, like we all have been waiting with bated breath forever), and the third about the current cycle of ANTM. At least we have the fourth, My time to be fierce. So I click on it, and it takes me to …a link to the article about Tyra’s hair.
Under a “From Me To You” button, the following topics appear “Magazine Manifesto”, “My Bio”, “My Lifeline” (her life timeline), and “Tyra’s Tweets”. In fact I cannot find one single thing on the entire site that does not directly promote Tyra or her show. Un-beweavable! (But fully expected). Go take a gander yourself, and play the where’s waldo game of ”where’s something relevant”.
*Listen to the manifesto to hear about the smoky eye and being the CEO of your life.