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Gayly And Rightfully Yours

September 22, 2009

By SaraNOD

I was sitting in a Northwest Airline terminal with my Colorado Aunt, several years ago, when we begun a conversation about Gay rights. We were (and still are) pretty hefty advocates for equal rights in relation to all humans, so our conversation took off pretty quickly. The most provoking sentence, I believe, came about when my Aunt turned to me and asked, ‘How would the marriage of two men or two woman effect my own marriage in the least?’

Being a super mature & worldly thirty-two year old, I’ve heard plenty o’ arguments for and against Gay rights throughout the entire four or five years of my adulthood. My Aunt’s question/statement was one that made a lot of sense to me, and is still kinda my mantra when someone brings up the notion of Gay marriage being an absolute downfall in our society. I mean, logically, does anyone’s marriage honestly affect the marriage of anyone else? And, if so, how? And, if how, why? And, if why…

To be quite truthful, I never believed in marriage for myself (until recently, that is, moving out West will do that I st’pose). I grew up regarding my parent’s marriage, how much they genuinely cared for each other, and I didn’t believe I could duplicate that. Mum & Dad had an honest trust and communication with each other and, should they bicker, my Brother and I felt certain they would be able to work anything out. Divorce wasn’t as easily an option as it seems to be now. In fact, a lot of my beefs actually lie within many married heterosexual gaming contestants and their treatment of marriage. I don’t believe in divorce-I haven’t for years and I don’t now.

Aside from the obvious Ike & Tina hit-it-off-or-verbally-bashing-fun-time couples, I’ve always considered divorce a cop-out. I realize I’ve never experienced marriage, so I maybe shouldn’t judge getting out of it, but I hold the notion of marriage pretty high up there-hence, no divorce. In my mind, marriage (especially our Western culture idea of a monogamous marriage) should be one of those foundations in which you kinda have to stick with it. Probably marriage shouldn’t constantly be easy, but if you truly love someone wouldn’t you be willing to make your relationship work on every level?

Yes, I’m aware I’m ambling towards the preachy section of my point, so I’ll attempt to limit the soapbox stacking. A couple of months ago, a friend of mine started a website in favour of protecting the sanctity of marriage by banning divorce: I thought this, too, was a brilliant argument for Gay marriage as well as most relationships. For the sake of rebuilding my soapbox structure, why should it be quite alright to deprive someone from celebrating his or her life by marrying the person they adore? Obviously, I don’t think this should be an issue, but as long as it is, I find myself in complete agreement with voting ‘No’ on divorce.

For reals, if Gay marital rights are going to be continually over-looked and restrained, all those who are able to marry might want to dig on several points. My first point being the great fortune to find someone to share your existence with and the honour of becoming connected through marriage. Secondly, does it seem faaar too easy to leave a marriage these days? Divorce is not dissimilar to breaking up with someone and I find that creepy and pretty disheartening. I mean, I’ve held out on marriage for the span of my lifetime because I sorta thought it was a big deal. Lastly, it’s just not fair. And I’m not talking about the situation being unfair in the ‘whiny’ sense, I’m sayin’ it’s not fair in the ‘Who is it hurting so much that so many are adamantly against Gay rights?’ sense.

Sure, like most blogs, ‘Vote No’ might be a bit bash-tactical, but if you look beyond that and more towards the idea behind the group, hopefully, things will begin to slide into place. Personally, I’m a big fan of all people, kiddies, etc. meeting our matches and being able to celebrate that any way we wish. Perhaps we’ll hit a mark in which marriage will become obsolete and simply being committed to someone will be justification enough. And these potential days roll on and perchance gather closer to an idea that no one’s marriage should really affect anyone elses’…at least, in my opinion. However, I’m not always the best source as it’s one o’ clock in the morning and I’m hanging out with my computer & a yellow lab tonight.

In the meantime, happy hunting and stay valiant!


5 Responses to “ Gayly And Rightfully Yours ”

  1. Nat on September 22, 2009 at 9:00 am

    I’m assuming your friend’s campaign/website is entirely facetious and he/she doesn’t truly want to ban divorce.

    But even then, the idea or spirit of the site is misguided: For one, I don’t understand how banning divorce is an argument for gay marital rights. Satirically, it’s a good takedown of anyone who respects the sanctity of marriage in word only, but that’s a criticism of marriage hypocrites and not a vindication of gay marital rights.

    Second–and here’s where I get on my soapbox–the cure for oppression is freedom, not another form of oppression. The gay community is right to object to a legal ban on homosexual marriages–who is the State to tell them how to live their love lives?–but by that same token, who is your friend and his/her supporters to tell heterosexuals how to live theirs? Or to use the State to force them to live that way? Banning divorce is as wrong as banning homosexual marriage–and for the same reason: It’s oppression.

    Likewise Colorado Aunt’s argument for gay marital rights equally applies to the right to divorce, or to paraphrase her words: “How would the divorce of a man and a woman or two men or two woman affect your own marriage in the least?”

  2. Sara on September 22, 2009 at 9:07 am

    As in almost all things related to our lives, sarcasm remains a most humourous (and somewhat effective) way to fight oppression.

  3. Nen on September 23, 2009 at 3:49 pm

    Sara–loved the article
    Nat–loved your argument as well

    and since I never get to bust you guys…you both spelled women wrong! ;) (one man/one woman but it’d be two women)

  4. Nat on September 23, 2009 at 3:57 pm

    Nen–I copied and pasted-ed-ted-ed!

  5. Sara on September 25, 2009 at 7:48 pm

    Good show, Nen! For the record, I have never claimed to know how to spell, but thanks Heavens you didn’t pull out the ‘Wyman/Wymen’ card.