Tweezers Anonymous: For The Over-Enthusiastic Plucker
I am afflicted with the unfortunate obsessive compulsion to tweeze, in excess. This might seem an innocent pastime, but in truth it is a heavy burden to bear. Ever since I was a wee gal, I have had a nervous habit of picking at my skin. That has now translated to a love of tweezing that is scarcely comprehensible to a person possessing average propensity for body pruning.
I own about 14 pairs of tweezers, and they are scattered about the house in case the dire need for extraction of a stray hair arises in any given room. You think I am exaggerating for comedic effect, but I assure you, I can only wish.
I never really felt like anyone would ever understand my illness, but then I met Pancake. In addition to being my kindred spirit in the love of horror, Pancake might quite possibly be my equal when it comes to plucking. I know it seems crazy, but she has divulged that she keeps a special pair of tweezers in her art studio because, and I quote, “The lighting is so much better there”.
In a perverse way, I understand this. I had a colllege lamp set up in my apartment during Dental Hygiene school and it was angled just so toward the mirror. Those were some of the best tweezing day s of my life, the golden age of tweezing, if you will.
There are two basic disasters that await a compulsive plucker. Pancake is prone to one, and I the other. Pancake is more likely to tweeze too much product away, resulting in bald eyebrows, a very bizarre look. The Tweezers Anonymous (see photos below) kit I ran across seems like it was developed with just this type of mishap in mind. Fortunately, this simple mishap can be corrected with a steady hand and an eyebrow pencil of the correct shade.
My problem is not so easily fixed, for I try to snatch the little hairs from their follicular housing the moment they become detectable to the naked eye. Usually they are flush with the skin, which requires a more surgical approach. The further they retract, the more hotly I pursuit them with grim determination. This results in ingrown hairs, and at least twice a year, a secondary infection. At that point, my eye is usually swollen shut from the swelling, which is so much more attractive than letting that one little hair live to see another day. This advanced stage of self mutilation is referred to by my husband as a “tweezing incident” and after being labeled such, it is not spoken of again.
Anyway, I was comforted when I ran across the Tweezers Anonymous kit, because the need for such a kit to exist means that there are many more of us out there. Someday, we’ll all band together in an uprising against the far more powerful (and smart) waxers. ‘Til that day, I’ll keep on plucking.