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Gwyneth Paltrow is not having a good summer (tee hee)

August 6, 2009

By Shannon

I can't put my finger on it, but something's missing here...

I can't put my finger on it, but something's missing here...

Gwyneth Paltrow was noticably absent from the cover that Entertainment Weekly ran back in July, featuring the cast of Ironman 2.  Rumors swirled that she was miffed about being upstaged by Scarlett Johansson as the hot new babe on the set.  Her brilliant strategy for revenge (according to some sources) was to refuse to do publicity for the film.  She did not appear at Comicon, while Johansson, Robert Downey Jr., and Don Cheadle did make the rounds to promote the movie.  I’m sure she thought this would really piss off the movie producers, but so far nobody could give a crap. Everyone is just thankful that they don’t have to feign interest in her “Goop” website while procuring interviews about the movie.  

Now Vanity Fair has pretty much gone out and made fun of Her Royal Goopness and the sanctimonious lifestyle advice she doles out to all us simpletons.  I nearly peed my pants when I read their scathing little spoof of  some of  her “goopisms”.

My favorite excerpt,

“Do you sometimes get the feeling you just have too much going on?

At one end of the room the kids are crying out for you to teach them how to make that truly great detox teriyaki salad with miso-nettle dressing. At the other end of the room there’s a new movie script sent to you by the cuddly and awesome director Sam Mendes. And then the phone rings and it’s your supercool friend Madonna Ciccone begging you to step into that favorite old cut-price Balenciaga knee-length dress with your buckle belt and outrageous tartan boots and come with her to the opening of this great new restaurant up on East 54th Street.

Meanwhile, you are desperately trying to get your butt in great shape while nourishing your inner aspect by learning how to fold napkins in a way that will make them more ecologically sustainable.”

Read the whole article from Vanity Fair here.


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