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5 Geeks we love (inappropriately)

August 5, 2009
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Dork Lord Boy Crushes

By Janey Pancake

Pancake peruses her well-worn copy of "Geeky Dreamboats"

Pancake peruses her well-worn copy of "Geeky Dreamboats"

During the course of our friendship, Shannon and I have bonded over many things; our love of the horror genre, the X-Files, vodka, and a predilection for Hugh Laurie. What with all the commonalities that we share, my steadfast attraction to a particular male prototype has provided Mrs. Frothy with no end of amusement. I would say that I cotton specifically to the Dark, Smart and Funny fellas, but others have -perhaps unkindly – accused me of having a Wizarding Level 23 Dork Fetish. I was recently given a book entitled, Geeky Dreamboats: A Celebration (thank you Shannon!) and while I believe that the sincere intention behind the tome is somewhat tongue-in-cheek, I was surprised by how many of my genuine crushes were included in the thing.

It is in the spirit of Geeky Dreamboats: A Celebration that I list the top five objects of my affection. For the sake of brevity and to avoid the general feeling of shame one acquires after spending too much time wallowing in unrequited love, I have simplified my lists to actors/comedians/musicians only. While it pains me to leave out fictional characters, radio entertainers and authors whom I love (Tim Canterbury, Vampire Bill meet Ira Glass – now go and play nicely amongst yourselves.) doesn’t mean that I love them any less. Behold:

  • Demetri Martin – My love for Demetri Martin is well documented on this blog, he first came to my attention as The Senior Youth Correspondent on The Daily Show. Since then I have watched his phenomenal stand-up routines If I;  Demetri Martin. Person; These Are Jokes; his Comedy Central program Important Things with Demetri Marti, and I even had the pleasure of seeing him live in May. I call him Demetri because we are good as married in my mind. (But, married in my mind’s no good.)
  • Adam Brody – I almost wrote “Seth Cohen”, his character from The O.C., because I have trouble differentiating between the actor and his portrayal of Seth, with whom I am in love a little bit. Seth Cohen captured my heart with his sarcasm, enthusiasm for comics, musical tastes and the way in which he dealt with his (mostly) unrequited love for Summer Roberts. (I identified more with Anna and was therefore crushed when things didn’t work out between them.) Sweet Mother of Science I loved that show more than a 30+ aged woman should.
  • Bret McKensie – one half of the musical duo Flight of the Conchords,(with Jermaine Clement, also hilarious and attractive) Bret hails from New Zealand and there is not one single thing about him that I don’t love. Hilarious, smart, musically talented and be-bearded, Bret is easy on the eyes by any standard – however an un-credited role as an Elf escort in two LOTR films seals his credibility as a card-carrying-dork-a-saurus.
  • Jailbait Edition: Don’t Judge Me!

  • Michael Cera – As an Arrested Development fan, it should go without saying that I loved Mr. Cera’s portrayal of George Michael. Not in a dirty way, but my oh my am I pleased to see that he is growing into just the kind of young man I can become imaginary engaged to. Much ado has been made about his ill-timed break-up with Charlyne Yi (Paper Heart) and even though she is unspeakably awesome, I refuse to turn on him just yet.
  • Daniel Radcliffe – Oh, DanRad. May I call you DanRad? I feel a little wrong about having you on my list, given our age differences and my desire to stay out of jail, but your hilarious cameo on an episode of Extras – in which you sported a boy-scout style uniform and tried to convince the other cast members of your vast sexual experience – was effing funny. I loved how you handled your recent interview with a – shall we say, enthusiastic – fan-girl with grace and composure and I just think you are fantastic.
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14 Responses to “ 5 Geeks we love (inappropriately) ”

  1. Nat Almirall on August 5, 2009 at 7:13 am

    I read the first sentence, saw the five pictures, and deemed this omission inexcusable: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBQAuw4NYLA

  2. pancake on August 5, 2009 at 7:47 am

    Right you are, Nat – Hugh Laurie is Dee-vine and that clip offers a sublime example of his splendor. My first list initially included about 15 people (and it kept growing and growing) so I finally had to make some unwelcome rules for myself to simplify things. Sigh.
    My list of omissions includes – but is not limited to: Hugh Laurie, Hugh Dancy, James McAvoy, Ira Glass, Will Arnett, Martin Freeman, Kal Penn, Jeff Goldblum, Anthony Head, Cary Grant, Larry David and Professor Harvey Asher. As for my fictitious crushes: Wesley/Dread Pirate Roberts, Tim Canterbury, Vampire Bill, The Twins Weasley, Humbert Humbert, Spike and Elliot Gould’s portrayal of Phillip Marlowe.

    See? All over the place.

  3. pancake on August 5, 2009 at 8:04 am

    I should also mention – lest certain feelings be hurt, thus making my living situation…prickly – that I am quite fortunate to be married to a former Acedemic Olympian and Mathlete who can juggle, do yo-yo tricks and who shares my fondness for the Phillip Pullman book series, HIs Dark Materials. Le sigh…

  4. Nat Almirall on August 5, 2009 at 8:34 am

    Mathlete: priceless.

    No sweats on the omissions, though Humbert Humbert is a bit unsettling…nevertheless, pleased you found Elliot Gould’s portrayal so sexy. Now try Art Carney in The Late Show!

  5. pancake on August 5, 2009 at 8:39 am

    I know. Humbert Humbert was almost too unsettling to cop to, but what can I say – I enjoy the wit, even when it is deeply perverted.

  6. anncine on August 5, 2009 at 8:45 am

    Now Pancake, we have talked about you stealing MY boyfriends…I saw plenty of YOUR boyfriends milling about KC the other day. I suggest you ‘step-off.’ I mean specifically and mostly Demetri and Micheal Sera..who is a bit young but, “hey, if they can cut their own meat, their fair game.”

  7. anncine on August 5, 2009 at 8:47 am

    Oh, and I would of course go all kinds of dirty with ‘Brit’…that goes without saying. I said it anyway.

  8. Sara on August 5, 2009 at 9:02 am

    While waiting to pony up my geeky crush of Jesse Eisenberg during his Get Real days (before Squid & Whale & before Adventureland, that is), I read Hugh Laurie as Peter Laurie. Then, I thought about it and Peter Laurie wouldn’t be such a bad geeky crush, a little creepy at times, but not bad.

  9. anncine on August 5, 2009 at 9:13 am

    *They’re..Sorry it is a compulsion.

  10. pancake on August 5, 2009 at 9:33 am

    Another good geeky crush? Reza Aslan!

  11. Nat Almirall on August 5, 2009 at 11:18 am

    Chalk one up for Linda Cardellini and Kristen Stewart–she was so hot in Panic Room!

  12. Brenda on August 5, 2009 at 3:28 pm

    kristen stewart was 12 in panic room…….

  13. Ryan Green on May 27, 2010 at 6:46 pm

    George Michael is also a great singer and was quite famous in the 80′s era.,-`

  14. Tilly Holmes on July 20, 2010 at 7:34 pm

    George Michael have created lots of scandal in the 90s he he:;~

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