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This is precisely why I never wear peep toe shoes

July 27, 2009
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By Shannon

Shameful protrusions ought not be allowed!

Shameful protrusions ought not be allowed!

This exquisite photo comes from failblog.org. When I opened the link and found this beautiful sight awaiting me, I spit my drink all over the computer monitor.  Not only is this hilarious, but this is exactly what my feet look like in these.  I’m not kidding!  Right down to the un-pedicured nails.

See, the genes on the maternal side of my family have been less than kind when it comes to doling out the pretty feet.  My mom, brother and I  all have some of the most frightful feet you will ever see (except you’ll never see them, because we’re not exhibitionists like this trollop).  My own husband never saw my feet until about the 3rd year of our marriage.  I never wore flip-flops, sandals or open toed shoes.  Boots were my regular uniform, and socks are worn to bed every single night, no exceptions.  I don’t get pedicures because it was too humiliating.

When my grandmother met my father for the first time (he was already engaged to my mother) she asked with great concern “have you seen her feet yet?”  No doubt she was worried that if he hadn’t, it would certainly be a deal-killer and the marriage would be off.  Similarly, whenever I had a suitor for any period of time, my brother would take great delight in asking “but has he seen your feet yet?”

Having spent the greater part of my life shielding my talons from public viewing, I am taken aback by a person possessing equally horrific feet feeling like they can flamboyantly display their wares.  Look at her, wearing  a shoe two sizes too small, flaunting her phalanges.  For shame, for shame.

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5 Responses to “ This is precisely why I never wear peep toe shoes ”

  1. pancake on July 27, 2009 at 8:11 am

    this delighted me to no end!

  2. anncine on July 27, 2009 at 10:35 am

    I have webbed toes.

  3. CJ on July 27, 2009 at 1:44 pm

    I have sent this story to almost everyone I know. That photo is just….beyond.

  4. Brea Noblit on July 27, 2009 at 9:43 pm

    Too funny! I don’t remember seeing your feet…

  5. FROTHYGIRLZ1031 on July 27, 2009 at 10:26 pm

    that would probably be because you never did!

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