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Hive inducing wedding entrance

July 23, 2009

In a fit of insomnia last night I stumbled upon this cute wedding video. It depicts a wedding party making an unusual entrance, and it caused me to burst into hives. No kidding. This is absolutely the worst thing I can ever imagine doing, it’s on par with walking down the isle naked. My cheeks burned and my face turned scarlet just watching other people sashay down the isle.

You may think I am embellishing for the sake of the story, but everyone who knows me knows I speak the truth. My own wedding was limited to just 4 people; my mom and dad, and my husband’s mom and dad. This was not because I did not want my friends and family there, or because I was selfish, or cheap. It was simply because I was absolutely positive I would pass out in front of more people.

I am terrified of being in front of crowds. Shamefully, I was sweating profusely and very nervous when I had to give a Dental Hygiene presentation to my daughter’s preschool class of 3 year olds. I can’t even speak at a PTA meeting without feeling faint.

So this video of an entire wedding party willingly participating in dancing in front of total strangers-well it blew me away, and I most certainly will not sleep due to the anxiety I incurred just watching it.

If any of my friends ever asked me to do this sort of thing, well we wouldn’t be friends anymore.


5 Responses to “ Hive inducing wedding entrance ”

  1. pancake on July 23, 2009 at 8:36 am

    Oh dear. I suffer from a similar problem. I actually was totally on board at first, but then had several unfortunate reactions, including – but not limited to:
    -turning purple
    -almost passing out from being mortified during the slow motion sequence before the bride dances down the aisle
    -crying, which was kind of unexpected, but I cry whenever I see a flash-mob dance too. I don’t know why.

    I was jealous of the grooms well-executed somersault.

  2. anncine on July 23, 2009 at 1:22 pm have to go all out on this or it is retard tingle city. I would need a large amount of vodka which would allow me to fully commit to either performing ‘The Roger Rabbit’ or maybe ‘The Pony.’ I dig The Pony.

  3. CJ on July 23, 2009 at 4:41 pm

    OMG I LOVED IT!!! Of course I love it. I love dance, I love to dance, I love weddings, I love unconventional. It made me cry, too, but only because of the absolute awesomeness! Speaking of dance, it’s the 100th episode of “So You Think You Can Dance” tonight and Katie Holmes is performing along with a replay of all of the Emmy nominated routines. I, for one, am drinking vodka at 3 pm in anticipation!!

  4. JBrian on July 23, 2009 at 8:01 pm

    stunning….there are no words.

  5. Sara Henke on July 23, 2009 at 9:34 pm

    So undignified. I couldn’t even make it to the bride and groom! How many fucking people are in this wedding party?! The couple had to be reeeeaaaalllly young to think that was a good idea.