Paula Abdul is not a happy camper
So, everyone on American Idol has received or is in the process of negotiating a new contract for next year, except for Paula Abdul. I’m sure she’s going to want to make more money, especially since ringleader Ryan Seacrest just snagged 45 million for a 3 year contract (barf).
In a horribly miscalculated move, Paula Abdul’s manager David Sonenberg stated to the Los Angeles Times on Friday that “She’s not a happy camper as a result of what’s going on. She’s hurt. She’s angry,”
Apparently Sonenberg doesn’t realize that the phrase “happy camper” has not been uttered by anyone since 1995, and by using that word to describe his client he is actually pointing out the the fact that Abdul is completely irrelevant. She ought to be goddamn happy to have any job, for any amount of money, much less a job on the American Idol juggernaut. Sure, the show is losing steam, but it will still churn out a few turds before it rests its bowels for good. Abdul better chain herself to this show because nothing else is ever going to come her way. I never cease to be amazed by the hubris of some of these idiots when they are negotiating contracts. If it were me, it would go a little something like this.
American Idol: So, we are only going to offer you 1,000 dollars a show even though Ryan Seacrest is going to make 15 million this year.
Me: That’s cool. Can I get my drink on?
American Idol: Of course
Me: Awesome. Can I take my nervous pills before we go live?
American Idol: Most certainly.
Me: Do I get to arbitrarily decide the fates of hundreds of kids auditioning for the show, then screw with their heads just for the fun of it each week, irreversibly damaging their fragile psyches?
American Idol: *chuckling* We would expect nothing less, makes for good television.
Here’s one of my favorite Paula Abdul performances ever, for your viewing pleasure.