5 movie concepts ripe for pitching
For the past few weeks, film bloggers have become agitated by the current slew of green-lit movies that have been announced. A baffling array of shitty ideas have dominated the daily trades. For example, the following titles are actually in development: The Smurfs, Candyland, Monopoly, Asteroids, and View Master (that’s right, the little slide projector you had when you were little) are all coming to the big screen. Yay!
If you thought this was bad, I have received an anonymous email with some other film ideas that are currently under consideration.
1) Diary of Anne Frank: The Reboot
Since the original was too “depressing” , this version will feature Miss Frank “getting jiggy” with the landlord of the building, who eventually can’t forget about the pint-sized Lolita. Ellen Page rumored to star.
2) Jiffy Pop-3D.
This IMAX extravaganza will take you inside an actual Jiffy Pop tub. You’ll squeal with delight as you dodge popping kernels exploding on the screen right before your eyes. Watch out for the butter!
3) Night of the Living Post-it Notes
In this thriller, a woman’s desktop becomes overcome with post-it notes. It’s a race against the clock to unclutter her desk. Negotiations are taking place with scream queen Kari Wuhrer to star in this future box office hit.
4 ) What Lies Beneath (the Milk): The story of Marshmallow Mateys
Something sinister is lurking in the Marshmallow Mateys your kids are eating. Unlock the mystery. Starring Anthony Garcia as detective Jack Dandy.
5) Ronald McDonald and the Quest for the Crappy Burger.
Featuring the iconic Ronald McDonald clown, kids of all ages will enjoy his journey to the Midwest in search for the perfect cow to be slaughtered. Will he have a change of heart? Find out this Christmas! Starring Dakota Fanning Abigail Breslin.