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10 reasons why Marilyn Manson is such a catch

July 3, 2009

Some of the most beautiful women in the world have dated and/or married rocker Marilyn Manson.  Rose McGowan,  Dita Von Teese, and Evan Rachel Wood have all succumbed to his apparent charms.  I’ve found this perplexing for years, so I decided to investigate what makes him so appealing.  Now I get it.  Move over everyone, he’s all mine.

  1. He’s handsome.
  2. You can share makeup.
  3. Soothing music and melodic voice can lull you to sleep.
  4. Can be used as a talisman to ward off pesky Christians.
  5. He comes with  a lifetime supply of his self-branded  absinthe brand Mansinthe.
  6. Sex life will keep you on your toes.  Play sexual Russian Roulette and try to avoid “pulling a David Carradine”.  Exciting!
  7. You can be a co-owner of a real Chinese girl skeleton.
  8. You will magically morph into a Dita Von Teese replica!
  9. Your house will boast a real decorator’s touch,  swastika wall tiles!
  10. He’s romantic.



3 Responses to “ 10 reasons why Marilyn Manson is such a catch ”

  1. Sara on July 3, 2009 at 1:46 pm

    Leave us not forgot Dr. Manson is an avid candy & Coca-Cola junkie. Nuff said!

  2. CJ on July 7, 2009 at 7:22 pm

    Given the tragedy that befalls most child stars, I think Paul from Wonder Years turned out better than most.

  3. janessadawn on November 11, 2009 at 10:24 pm

    Don’t forget–he snots all over everyone after pretty much every song at his concerts. Yes, I witnessed this.