Red Wings Fever
In honor of tomorrow’s game a special Thursday afternoon update from Nat
If you’re living in Michigan and haven’t been suffering from a head wound for last few months, you’ve probably got Red Wing Fever, one of the many sports-related afflictions pandemic to the U.S. during the spring season (March Madness, Spring Training Fever, Cricket Streptococcus, etc.).
If you’re not sure, I suggest, in lieu of seeking qualified help, you check the following list to see if you’re exhibiting any of the symptoms.
Do you find yourself
． shouting “we” more than any other first-person, plural personal pronoun?
． screaming, “Let’s go!” but neglecting to specify a destination?
． sporting an unwashed jersey that bears the stains and stenches of 10,000 Bud Lites, 900-some slices of Little Caesar’s, and a million glorps of nachos?
． not caring that sporting said jersey is the one time this year you’ll coordinate your outfit?
． showing a greater outpouring of emotion at an Osgood save than at all Memorial Days, Thanksgivings, and Christmases combined?
． thinking these little bullet points look like pucks?
． ready to fight to the death a guy you don’t know, over a slight you’ve already forgotten, for the honor of six people you’ve never met?
If so, please see your ticket agent…who’s probably sold out…and you probably already knew that.