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Hypocrisy, thy name is Nadja Suleman

June 4, 2009
By

Octomom accuses Gosselins of exploiting children.oc-1

Dear Hypocrisy,

I’d like to introduce you to your new mouthpiece, a one Nadja Suleman.  Nadja is the batshit crazy single mom who decided to keep eight babies even though she was unemployed and had six other children at home . Dubbed “Octomom” by the mean press poor Nadja has clearly only had the best interest of her children in mind from the moment they sprang forth from her bloated belly.  

Nadja hates the term “Octomom”, but curiously just trademarked it, so no one else can be annointed with this captiivating moniker. It now seems she will be using the term to sell “baby supplies” such as diapers, wipes, etc. What a great idea.  I’m sure it will be a huge success.  When given the choice most women I know will be reaching for “Octomom” diapers over “Pampers” every time.  Like most Americans, I’ll jump at any chance I get to put money into this woman’s pocket.  Sign me up, stat.

Nadja sold the photos of her octoplets to the highest tabloid bidder for an undisclosed price, indignantly insisting she did it to raise money for her children. Soon afterward, she went on a whirlwind of daily shopping.  On one such venture she dropped $1,000 on cosmetics at MAC.  Sadly, her plastic face still looks the same.

Now, the news we have all been waiting for–Nadja snagged herself a reality show.  After months of denying that she would ever do such a thing, she finally succumbed basically to provide people all over the world with an educational opportunity. The sacrifices this woman makes for all of mankind, it’s staggering really.  Her selfless acts no doubt will be held up as a modicum of virtue from this day forward.

Yesterday she said in an interview seen on radaronline.com in regards to  Jon and Kate  Gosselin, “Where I feel they made a mistake being very–allowing it to be very exploitative and invasive in the kids lives”.

Um, come again?  I know that you are the pillar of mothering that we all aspire to, but didn’t you sell your babies’ photos to the highest bidder and just sign a deal to do a reality series? Oh, I forget, your reality series will be much classier, because it will be shot “documentary style”.  Bitch, please.  We both know within a year you will be on VH1 hawking your dating show “Octomom and the Aquarium of Douchebags”.

You are the official poster child of the decade for exploitation, yet you take the time to stand outside your house and point out someone else’s mothering mistakes.

I’m no fan of Kate Gosselin, so making me actually *barf* kind of defend her is an accomplishment of herculean proportion.

Congratulations, Nadja you are hypocrisy’s new spokeswhore. I’m sure you will fulfill your duties of this office with ease.

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