Indefensible Crap We Love: Katie Price and Peter Andre
By Janey Pancake
Dears, please don’t think less of me, but when Shannon posted that Katie Price and Peter Andre were splitting up, I was genuinely sad. I know. I have my reasons. For those unfamiliar with the couple, they are classic tabloid fodder. Katie Price (A.K.A. Jordon: British glamour* model, singer, one-time political candidate, competitive equestrian show jumper, plastic surgery enthusiast, be-dazzler of personal affects and the maker/seller of goods including – but not limited to: perfume, bedding, lingerie and terry cloth hot-pants for horseback riding** ) and Peter Andre (Australian singer/songwriter of the adult contemporary variety) met while filming the show, I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here! From there a relationship in the public eye was spawned. The couple married on camera, had their children on camera and chronicled their lives as a family on camera. I wouldn’t be acquainted with them but for my predilection for crap – I was trolling the Youtube for entertainment when I happened upon one of their shows (Katie Price and Peter Andre: The New Chapter: Down Under, I believe it was called) and it was so addictive that I spent several months watching all broadcasts of the show. I know. I am ashamed.
During the summer of 2008, I became emotionally invested in this couple. I watched them vacation together, move out of their house, renew their wedding vows (in hilarious outfits the likes of which would be more befitting for competitive figure skaters), promote their business ventures, bicker and fight like any other married couple with kids and raise their three children together. While their lifestyle was difficult to relate to, I was totally transfixed by the outlandishness of it all and their roles as parents appeared to be a normalizing constant for them. It should be acknowledged that one of their three children is seriously disabled, which may in fact offer a degree of encouragement and support to other parents of special needs children.
And there is this.
I found Katie’s candor about her plastic surgery (guys, she’s had TONS) completely refreshing – in creating a figure that is entirely about artifice, she had a “warts and all” approach to her efforts to constant re-construction. Never once did she pretend to be born with her comely attributes – the camera was invited in to chronicle her surgeries: breast augmentation, breast implant reduction, liposuction, Botox injections, spray tans, hair extensions, extensive dental work, etc. I also found it to be very sad. The amount of time, money and physical suffering spent to create, change and maintain her image reveals far more about her insecurities than does her compulsion to live her life in front of a lens – which is perhaps why I would like to see these crazy kids make it work. But I digress…
As someone who appreciates Minimalist restraint, I entreat you to enjoy this video of Katie and Peter shot during happier times:
**As a former, competitive horseback rider, I can personally attest that terry cloth hot pants are a terrible idea for riding. Under no circumstances would such a garment be a suitable replacement for jodphurs. Imagine taking an orbital sander to the inner nether region of your thighs – that should accurately mimic the experience of horseback riding in a pair of towel-fabric knickers.
Editor’s note-if you just can’t get enough of the terrific twosome, here is there video to “A whole new world”. It is awesome.