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The Case of the Texting Matriarch

May 18, 2009
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By Shannon

I had a little family gathering out of town this past weekend, and the topic turned to texting and such. Now Madame Matriarch of this family has taken it upon herself to start text- messaging her offspring and grand-offspring. This has been quite a coup for her, as many people of her generation are terrified and confounded by modern technology, and absolutely refuse to consider embracing such things.

text-messagingHowever, as is bound to happen, there have been a few obstacles blocking a smooth transition to the silent communication format.

My hubby made the following observation to his siblings yesterday. “I don’t think Madame Matriarch knows what LOL (laugh out loud) means.” This led to raucous laughter and a frenzy of text-telling stories.

The following were some of the texts received by offspring and grand-offspring in the last few weeks from Madame Matriarch.

Sally has to have a c-section because the baby is in breach position. LOL Madame Matriarch

Brandon just missed making all-state in basketball. LOL Madame Matriarch

Cindy was in a car wreck yesterday, but she is okay. LOL Madame Matriarch

It is with a heavy heart that I tell you that Uncle Jeff died yesterday. LOL Madame Matriarch

So,  you can see how we might think there is some sort of misperception on Madame Matriarch’s part regarding the proper use of LOL. We decided to go the source.

“Madame Matriarch, what exactly do you believe LOL means in the world of texting?” we asked.

“Lots of Love” she replied “That’s how I always signed all my handwritten notes, so I just abbreviate it for my text.”

This certainly makes the aforementioned texts less disturbing., and resolved a bit of the mystery. We gently explained that the world of texting has some pretty well established abbreviations that are universally accepted, and you can’t just go about making your own rules.  As demonstrated,  grievous misunderstandings can ensue.

We all had a good laugh, even Madame Matriarch, until one family member became a little too comfortable in the moment and said to Madame Matriarch, “and all this time I thought you were signing LOL for ‘Little Old Lady’”.
This was met with stunned silence and a stink eye glare the likes of which I have ever seen.

At least it wasn’t me.

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