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May 15, 2009

By Shannon

For those of you who don’t know, Katie Price (who has annointed herself ‘Jordan’ ) is a reality television star fixture in England, and the press over there analyzes the minutiae of her life with husband and  uber girlie-man Peter Andre much like the American press stalks “Brangelina”.

This week  all of the blogosphere collectively wept upon hearing the sad news that  Jordan and Peter Andre have split.  Anyone with the brain capacity of an amoeba saw that coming the moment they made their first acquaintance.   Yesterday Jordan told the media that Peter had left her.  Later he confirmed that he had left her, and word is that he was enraged over  a photo of her flirting with a man in a club while she was out.  A man, who incidentally is gay.  Clearly, Andre is grasping for any exit that he can at this point, which puzzles me because how could he want to leave the Ravishing Rose of England?  Behold the beauty that is Jordan:How Peter has the strength to walk away from this classy dame is beyond my feeble abilities of comprehension.  A natural beauty walks among we mere mortals, and I often think to myself “If only I could become Jordan in duplicate, I could sleep the peaceful sleep of angels and not be plagued by terminal insomnia, for she is the epitome of all that is good and pure in this world.”

photo from The Sun

photo from The Sun

Anyhoo, here’s a fun wikipedia fact:

During the 7 June 2001, British General Election, Jordan ran as a candidate in Stretford and Urmston under her real name using the slogan: ‘For a Bigger and Betta Future’. As part of her election campaign, which was intended to bring a little fun into a dull election, she promised free breast implants, more nudist beaches, and a ban on parking tickets.

See, class personified. She makes me wanna be a better person.


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