Kiefer, I thought we had an arrangement
Oh, shizz, here we go again. Dude, I thought we had a deal worked out. I know you feel the need to participate in ridiculous off-screen antics while you are filming 24, but I thought we agreed on something. I’m all for letting you get your crazy on, but you were supposed to cleverly time it so that you were incarcerated during the off season of 24.
We never discussed sabotaging the season. You are fucking up my viewing pleasure, and I am none too pleased. All because of Brooke Shields? Really, isn’t that a little embarrassing? I mean the tree attack had some comedic value, but this? Tsk tsk. You need to take lessons from Robert Downey Jr., who somehow times his rehab visits and jail time so it does not ruin his career. Methinks you need tutoring from the sometimes felon RDJ, and I can arrange that.
Now, I’d better be able to play my “damn it” drinking game for the duration of the season, or else I am going to come find your ass in prison, and speak very loudly at you through the bars, so think about that for a while.