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Pamela Anderson: I win!!

May 6, 2009
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post_image-0428_pamela_anderson_sapphire_00

"you gotta cigarette?"

I cannot believe I used to be jealous of this mess.  Like, as recently as five years ago.  It’s astonishing how haggard she has become, and I actually feel sorry for. Remember when she was the golden girl of Baywatch?  How about when Barb Wire came out and she had a waist tinier than an anorexic six year old, with flowing luscious blonde locks and legs like Rupaul?  God how I wanted to be like her (I know, it was a shameful time in my life).

She is only two years older than yours truly, yet she easily could pass for my grandma. I win!

Pam, its time to put away the hot pants, deflate those montrosities, scrape the make-up off your face, and behave like a respectful person.  And for god sakes step away from the tanning bed you undoubtedly have in your bedroom.  If not for visual assault on everyone’s eyeballs, then please do it for your children.  You are a mom.  That doesn’t mean you have to don the crocs and mom jeans, but  how ’bout throwing on jeans and t-shirt and not looking like a truck stop hooker every time you are photographed?

It is possible.  I’ll be rooting for you.

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