Sharon, a word please
Um, Ms. Stone…could I have a word with you please? No, come closer, I want to whisper something in your ear. You may be unaware of this, but I think your left boob is making a run for it, and I don’t really blame it. It is trying to preemptively land on the floor before the rest of you does. Just thought you should know. With the obvious effort you are throwing into the act of standing up, I thought lesser details might be outside of your cognizant realm, and I’m always looking out for my gal pals.
You do look fabulous, but I fear you will totter over and fall. Perhaps your tiny body cannot support those boulders of wonder strapped to your chest, so I understand the bizarre foot plant you have adapted to reinforce your stance.
I really wish to help you out the door, because you have served me better than any Public Service Announcement ever could. By golly I am going to remain au natural!! Forever. You and Posh have scared the bejebus baboobies out of me.