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Dear Lucky (magazine)

April 21, 2009
By

Dear Lucky magazine,

I am putting you on notice.  I have been a subscriber to you and your flighty fashion whims for two and a half years now and I am this-close to pulling the plug when my renewal notice comes up.  I am sick of you, Lucky.  I am sick of you and I am sick of your shit.  I have never cared for the creative license you take with descriptive nouns – always adding a “y” on the end of everything (see: vintage-y, fashion-y, French-y, and luxe-y, to name but a few.)  It’s lazy. However, my biggest issue with your publication is that unshakable feeling I have that you are just fucking with us for your own amusement.  Do you remember last winter, Lucky, when Creative Director Andrea Linett  suggested to her readers that wearing woolly (motherfucking) socks under high-heeled, platform sandals was a good alternative to boots?  I remember.  I remember because when I read that I thought to myself – using your vernacular – “bullshit-y.”

The hideous faux-pas that Lucky magazine would have one commit.

The hideous faux-pas that Lucky magazine would have one commit.

I understand that what is considered fashionable is totally subjective, beauty being in the eye of the beholder and all that.  It’s true that I find socks worn under sandals to be as visually unappealing as they come (though to be fair, my own sartorial preferences are similar to that of a toddler) but that isn’t what actually bothered me about the concept of socks under sandals in lieu of boots.  What got to me was the sheer stupidity of the idea. During the wintertime, the goal is to keep your feet as warm and dry as possible so that one does not contract frostbite and lose one’s toes.   Socks do well to keep a foot warm and dry when the sock itself is covered by an additional, protective layer (like, let us say, BOOTS) but when worn under a sandal – well you better hope that it doesn’t rain, sleet or snow because you are gambling with your very toes, my friend.

Which leads me to a final thought, Lucky, regarding the open-toed boots you like so well and feature so heavily:  I think they are ugly.  And ridiculous.   One of the primary points of boots?   TOES.  You wear boots to cover them, If you want your toes hanging all out in the open, well then the shoe you are looking for is called a sandal.

Best,

Janey Pancake

posted 6:44 am

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