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CNN Sells Out

April 21, 2009

My husband and I both subscribe to CNN’s text messaging service. I was reluctant to sign up initially, because I feared getting 20 texts a day about every small happening throughout the day.

I was assured  that they show restraint and good judgement, and only text when extremely important events occur.  For the most part,  I’ll attest that this is true. I probably only receive one a week, unless a lot of world-changing events happen.  I can’t help but feel a knot in my stomach every time I receive a “CNN Breaking news” text.  I always think it will be something horrible,  and it usually is something significant, i.e. capturing pirates, inauguration, plane crashes, etc.

Last friday evening (the 17th) my husband and I were watching television when my phone chirped a warning, indicating I had a text message. I glanced at the message and had my heart do the usual thud-thud when I think something horrible is happening in the world.

Then my blood boiled as I saw this:  CNN Breaking news -Ashton Kutcher is the first to reach 1 million followers in Twitter contest with CNN.

n2201045022_375481WTF!! That is the direct text taken straight off my phone.  You, CNN, are assholes extraordinaire for pulling such a boneheaded move.  You misused your text message alert system by using this self promoting “contest” as breaking news.  If I want to know about Ashton Kutcher and his stupid Twitter contest I will subscribe to Tiger Beat’s text messages (maybe I already have, but that is not the point.)

You have lost the shred of credibility you have clung to in the last few years.  In your quest to become relevant you have become creepy Uncle Joe trying to see “what the kids are up to nowadays”.    What is your “Breaking News” text going to be about tomorrow? Did one of the Gossip Girls get her heel stuck in a sidewalk grate?   Did Kate Hudson make it five seconds without a new boyfriend?  Did Barack Obama fart?  By all means alert me immediately to these pressing matters.

Come on guys, get it together. You wonder why you are 3rd in the ratings, then you insult your audience with this crap.  CNN, you are dead to me.  ”I SAID GOOD DAY SIR!” {Door slams.}

posted 6:43 am


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